Pastor Daryl's Corner
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A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Be a Builder
It has been said, “It is better to build children than to repair men.” Therefore, you may want to spend some time this summer building the following character traits into your children.
Honesty- Being honest helps others trust me.
Respect- Showing respect for others shows I respect myself.
Kindness- Kindness makes everyone involved feel good.
Baptism
One of the best ways we can strengthen a child’s understanding of the gospel is by separating salvation from baptism. Baptism often seems to overshadow salvation and many children put more emphasis on the baptism than salvation experience because it is what they can see. Please give children enough time to truly experience salvation before you even discuss or consider baptism. I’m not recommending that you wait until your child is twelve before he is baptized. Just make sure that he can understand the difference between his salvation and his baptism. (excerpt from "The Faith of a Child")
Behavior and Actions
If you’re are having a hard time teaching your children that their behavior and actions are sometimes not pleasing to the Lord try this tip. Get two jars and fill both halfway full of marbles. One jar is the happy jar and the other jar is the sad jar. Each time your child does something that is pleasing to the Lord or you move a marble or two from the sad jar to the happy jar. This works in the reverse if something bad is done. When the happy jar is full take the children out for a happy meal at McDonald’s. You may need to raise the value of the reward for older children but the little ones that you are trying to impress the behavior on will love it.
Change
God is in the business of changing people, and he uses parents as a primary tool to facilitate that change in children’s lives. If you don’t believe in God you’re going to be in sad shape when it comes to helping children change. The reality is that God does miracles in people’s lives every day. God’s Word molds adults’ character regularly, and the Holy Spirit can change even the most stubborn or rebellious person into someone who emulates Christ. It’s never too late. Don’t let anyone, including your children, convince you otherwise. Draw close to God this summer and pray that the Holy Spirit will guide you and help you use your parenting tool while the kids are home. If you need some help let us know. I hope you all have a great summer.
Discouragement
For your Child
Deuteronomy 31:8 “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
- Study the topic Encouragement and learn how you can be encouraged and an encourager instead of discouraged and a discourager.
- Predetermine to be a positive influence on your friends by helping discourage them when they want to behave badly. Role-play scenarios.
Example: Friends want you to do something you know is not right. You could say, “I think I’d rather go play some basketball. Anyone want to go with me?”
For Parents
Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or the will become discouraged.
Parents please think carefully: Are you embittering your child in any way? Be honest with yourself and decide how to better handle the relationship.
Different as Salt & Light
The Bible tells Christians to expect opposition and peer pressure—and even to welcome it (Mathew 5:11). So let’s prepare our children early for the persecution they are sure to face. Warn them that they may be teased for going to church, or mocked for wearing a “WWJD” bracelet; that they may be called a “chicken” for choosing not to participate in something they know is wrong, or shunned for not watching certain television shows and movies. Remind your kids that when they are persecuted for following God, for standing apart from the muck of the world, they will be richly blessed later, in heaven (Matthew 5:12). That’s God’s promise to His children—and yours and mine are no exception. Excerpt from Creative Correction
Giving
“In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” Acts 20:35
It is so easy this time of year for our children to be consumed with all the things they want to receive for Christmas that they don’t spend much time focusing on what they should be giving. Discuss with your children times when you have found that “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Decide on ways that together as a family you could give. You might try donating clothes to the needy, or collecting food for a food panty, or maybe even helping an elderly neighbor with some household chores. Remember this: Whoever gives sparingly will also receive sparingly, and whoever gives generously will also receive generously. 2 Corinthians 9:6
Take time to give this Christmas season, remembering the ultimate gift that God gave us, His Son Jesus Christ. Excerpt taken from Parenting with Scripture
Game Day
'Get In The Game' is our theme for this years VBS and I was thinking that it would be a great theme for your family as well. Being a member in a family is not a spectator sport. Every child and every adult has his/her position to play and if they drop the ball the whole team can suffer. As the parent you are the team captain and they will all follow your lead. So be energetic and get the team moving with God as the team owner you can do it and do it with excellence.
Holiness
If you want to teach your child or remind yourself about holiness try doing a study on the book of Leviticus. The word is mentioned 156 times in the book, which is more than anywhere else in the entire Bible. For the Israelites to be holy and forgiven of their sins they had to sacrifice one of their best animals. Leviticus chapter 1 verse 4 says; “… he shall place his hand on the head of the burnt offering, and it will be accepted on his behalf to make atonement for him.” By placing his hand on the animal, the worshiper identified with the sacrifice, and the animal became his substitute. These types of offering are no longer necessary because Jesus became this sacrifice for us and was our substitute. If we don’t identify with Him as our sacrifice we are lost because He is the only acceptable sacrifice to make atonement for our sins. This is very important for us to understand as parents so that we can pass it along to our children.
Habits
Is your child building a habit of spending time with God each day? If not, here’s a simple way to get going: On small slips of paper write the references for Bible verses you want your child to learn—starting with short, one- or two-verse passages. Put these slips of paper in a cup, and draw a slip each day after dinner or before bedtime. Look up the verse, read it, and ask what that verse had to do with life that day. Ask about your child’s “highs” and “lows” of the day, and pray about the things you discuss. “The next morning Jesus awoke long before daybreak and went out alone into the wilderness to pray.” Mark 1:35 Excerpt taken from “Children Demand a Verdict” By: Josh McDowell/Kevin Johnson
Just Say NO
The following is a recent advice column from Parents.com, the website of Parents magazine. Forget the answers; it’s the questions from these typically loving, educated, middle-class moms and dads that tell us how kids are being raised today and going wild.
Q: When I ask my 4 year old to clean up his toys he says “no”! What should I do?
Q: Bedtime has become an exhausting ordeal. My son always needs one more thing— another story, a glass of water, a different blanket. How can I get him to stay in bed?
Q: I can never have an uninterrupted phone conversation! Every time the phone rings, my daughter makes a fuss or clings to me like glue.
Q: My three-year-old has started to cry whenever she can’t get her way. Should I just ignore her?
Q: Our three-year-old loves to boss us around. If I say, “Let’s wear white socks,” she says, “Blue!” If I say, “let’s brush our teeth,” she says, “No pajamas first!” We want her to feel like she has a say but this is getting out of hand!
You get the picture—and it’s not a pretty one. As parents we need to have courage and be willing to put “NO” back into our vocabulary. We have to do this if we are going to shape our children’s hearts for the good. Notice I just didn’t say that discipline is the end all but instead we should help train their hearts to delight in goodness because it is beautiful. Discipline methods achieve the right outward behavior, for a time, but not fundamentally change the selfish tendencies of the child’s heart.
Thank goodness for sunscreen! If you are lily white like me you’ll find yourself being thankful for good sunscreen. I strongly dislike the pain of the first burn. It’s amazing how sensitive your skin is and how bad it can hurt when it’s damaged. Just as we lather up with good sunscreen for our skin we should lather up our heart with some fortified and sanctified “Son screen.” Jesus the Son of God wants to protect and keep you. He has great plans for you so don’t get discouraged. “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Love Notes
The power of the written word is a lost art almost these days. Take a moment this week to sit down and write your child a note and slip it into their lunch box, notebook or backpack. In the note you might want to use word of blessing that tell your child who they are in Christ. It’s also great to tell them of your support and how you are there for them no matter what. Lastly include a prayer for them for that day. What a privilege God has given us to communicate His love to these precious ones.
Love?
“I have loved you,” says the Lord. “Yet you say, In what way have You loved me?” Malachi 1:2
The reality of God’s love for us is indisputable. Sometimes we look for God’s compassion to appear one way but He is expressing it in another. Our kids certainly feel this way about us as parents. They want our compassion at moments when we want to discipline and they don’t understand how discipline could be love. I challenge you to stand firm and discipline in love. True compassion and love cannot always be understood at the moment but rather several years latter. Love is strong and the pay off is huge so discipline in love and get paid latter.
New Life
I love spring after a long winter. What a time to see God at work. It always reminds me of how He can take something like a tree that looks dead and make it come to life again or how a bulb can be buried in the pit of the earth out of site and suddenly spring forth with green to show life followed by vibrant colors to display God’s glory in His creation.
I’m also reminded that He can do this for you and your family as well. He can call you out of the pit and restore you to a new life no matter what you’ve done or how “dead” you may feel. John 10:10 says: The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. Enjoy spring and celebrate life that Christ has given to us abundantly
Peer Pressure Prayer
Dear God,
Please help me to have the courage to stand up for what I know is right. Help me to resist the pull to be like the world even though it makes me feel accepted. I want to choose friends who will encourage me to stay close to You, Lord. Please help me not to make decisions based on what other people will think, but instead on whether my choices make You smile. Forgive me when I have sought other people’s approval before Yours, God Amen.
Prayer
You may want to use comparisons to help your children understand prayer. For example, prayer is like a telephone (it keeps you in touch with your Friend God); a map (it helps you find landmarks, danger spots, and the best way to get places); clothes (it protects you); a party (it’s a time of thanksgiving and celebration with your best friend); and a tree house (it’s a private place for you to spend time with your good Friend and share your thoughts with no fear of them getting spread around).
(Excerpts from Teaching Kids about God)
Punishment
As a different form of punishment technique you might want to try this. Make a homemade “Correction” can and fill it with tickers or slips of paper with various consequences written on them. Instead of giving your child a time-out, send her to the can for a slip. A few ideas might include no TV or computer for a night, early bedtime, or an extra chore. Toss in a blank piece of paper, a “mercy” ticket. This gives you an opportunity to talk about how God gives us mercy even when we deserve punishment.
(excerpts from Lisa Welchel’s book, “Creative Correction”)
Respect
“Each of you must respect his mother and father, and you must observe my Sabbaths. I am the Lord your God.” Leviticus 19:3
Your child’s respect for your position as a parent is closely linked to discipline. Never forget that you are the parent and he is the child! Do not try to be his buddy. It is infinitely more important for your child to respect you that to like you, although both are possible. He will quickly lose respect for you if he sees he has control over you.
Ways to Gain Respect and Teach Your Child to Respect You:
- Always follow through with immediate and appropriate consequences.
- Admit, apologize, and ask forgiveness when you make mistakes.
- Make “Yes ma’am,” “No sir,” “Please,” and “Thank you” a must.
Excerpt taken from “Parenting with Scripture”
Sibling Rivalry
The kids are home for the summer and there is bound to be some rivalry. Here are verses for you to share with your kids during these times or maybe you’ll want to have them memorize them this summer.
Proverbs 17:14—“Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.”
Proverbs 25:21-22—“If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.”
Romans 12:10—“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor on another above yourselves.”
Romans 12:18—“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, evil with good.”
Romans 12:21—“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Romans 12:15-16a—“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those that mourn. Live in harmony with one another.”
1 Peter 3:8-9—“Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.”
1 John 2:9-10—“Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble.”
Self control
Self control is something we want our children to achieve but some children have a hard time with self control. Here are some working definitions for self control we all can benefit from.
- Self Control is the ability to control myself so that Mom and Dad don't have to.
- Self Control means to think before I act.
- Self Control means that I limit the noises I make when others are around.
- Self Control is the ability to use words to solve problems instead of grabbing, pushing, or hitting.
- Self Control means that I focus on one thing until it gets done before I move on to the next.
For more on developing self control in children, take a look at the book, "Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids."
Speaking
Explain to your child that being able to express yourself is a gift. If they abuse that privilege, either by hurting someone’s feelings, speaking inappropriately, or just making needless noise, they cannot speak for a predetermined amount of time. Usually a minute per year of age works best. This underscores the privilege of speaking and makes them think more carefully about their words. You may also want to remind them that the Bible says our tongues are to bring life to others. (Proverbs 15:4)
Tantrums
Most tantrums are attention-getting behaviors. When your child goes into a tantrum state try removing the attention that they are getting for it. Don’t try to talk or reason them out of it or give them what they want just simply walk them to their room and tell them (in a calm and in control voice) that they can come out of their room when they are done. Don’t forget to close the door behind you when you leave the room because this further communicates that the attention has been removed. For younger kids place them in their crib with the light in the room on so that they will know that it’s punishment not bed time. When tantrums occur in the highchair during a meal simply spin the chair around facing away from the table and state that they can rejoin the meal when they stop crying.
Trinity
You can help your children differentiate between the three Persons of God by pointing out their differing jobs: The Father is the source of everything. He sent His Son and created everything. The Son, Jesus, when He was on earth, showed who God is and what He’s like. He’s your role model and example. He died to save you from your sins. He will judge everyone in the end. The Holy Spirit helps you get to know God and grow as His child. He guides you into the life God has planed for you. He’s with you, teaches you, and gives you gifts to help you do what God wants.
(Excerpt from Teaching Kids about God)
Threats
Don’t waste your time on threats. I haven’t found that exact wording in my Bible, but the spirit of it is—“Say what you mean, and do what you say”—is there. Threats will only teach kids the art of gambling. They ask themselves, Will Mom really follow through this time? Children know when the odds are in their favor, when it’s worth the risk to push the limits. So don’t say you’re going to do anything you can’t carry out.
Excerpt from Creative Correction
Uniqueness
A Child’s Uniqueness
Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go”
I say that because the idea behind this phrase is that every child is an individual. The word “way” actually refers to the bend in a bow. A loose translation might be something like this: “Train up a child in the way that he is naturally bent.” That’s really what it means.
You see, all children come into the world with a natural bent. Children are not all the same. God does not make carbon copies; He only makes originals. Your child carries within him or her a God-given blend of innate talents, interests, personality traits, and yet-to-be developed spiritual gifts that make him or her unique—one of a kind.
Therefore, you must deal with each child as a unique individual. That means you need to be creative in your approach to each of our children. You need God’s wisdom to communicate His truth with creativity because every child has a particular bent that is his and his alone.
Excerpt from Ten Secrets for a Successful Family
Worry
I Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Decorate a paper bag or jar and label it “Worry Jar.” Write I Peter 5:7 on the container. Then help your child write out his worries on slips of paper. Pray over the slips as you put them in the container. Encourage the child to try not to be anxious about these things because he has given them to God. Open the bag sometime later and discuss how God helped him through the worries and whether or not it was worth the anxiety. This will help him truly see that God does care for him and help him through times of worry.
Weeds
I don’t know about you but weeds amaze me. How do they grow so fast with little water and intense heat? All the while my garden and flowering plants, that are beautiful mind you, are struggling just to stay alive with my assistance. It sure reminds me of our Christian walk at times. We must keep ourselves in position for God to feed us and take care of us or the weeds of our past and familiar sins’ll chock us out. Hebrews 10:22-23 says, “let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 23Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. I know the God of hope will help you weed out your life garden. Hang in there friends and let us know if we can help.
Yelling
Yelling at your children usually leaves you feeling bad and leaves them feeling devalued, sad and unmotivated. Next time you feel like screaming, try whispering. Often whispering can be more effective and be heard more clearly. It also doesn’t have all of the negative outcomes that yelling does. I think that our kids these days need a strong reliance on the Lord and all the self-confidence they can get when they head out into the world.
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